10 minutes estimated reading time.

Key takeaways:

• The Thomas-Kilmann model outlines five conflict resolution styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, and Accommodating.
• Each style balances assertiveness and cooperativeness differently.
• The best style depends on the situation and the personalities involved.
• Using the right style can improve team dynamics, reduce stress, and lead to better outcomes.
• Leaders who understand all five styles can adapt to any conflict.

Introduction

Workplace conflict is unavoidable. Whether it’s clashing personalities, competing priorities, or simple misunderstandings, knowing how to handle conflict effectively is essential.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is one of the most widely used tools for understanding how people deal with conflict. It helps you recognise your own style and learn when to adjust it.

Ready to find out which style suits your situation—and how to use each one to your advantage?

What Is the Thomas-Kilmann Model?

The TKI model was developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann. It maps five conflict-handling styles on two axes:

• Assertiveness (the extent to which you try to satisfy your own concerns)
• Cooperativeness (the extent to which you try to satisfy others’ concerns)

These axes produce five styles:

Conflict Style	Assertiveness	Cooperativeness	When to Use It
Competing	High	Low	Urgent decisions or defending rights
Collaborating	High	High	Complex problems requiring joint input
Compromising	Medium	Medium	Temporary solutions or time constraints
Avoiding	Low	Low	Trivial issues or when emotions run high
Accommodating	Low	High	Preserving relationships or admitting you’re wrong

1. Competing – “My way or the highway”

You push your own agenda regardless of what others want. It’s assertive but not cooperative.

Use this style when:

• Quick, decisive action is needed (e.g., emergencies)
• You’re protecting company policies or ethical standards
• You’re dealing with someone exploiting your cooperative nature

Be cautious:

Overusing this can damage relationships and morale.

2. Collaborating – “Let’s find a win-win”

This style seeks full satisfaction for both parties through deep dialogue and problem-solving.

Use this style when:

• You want to strengthen long-term relationships
• The issue is complex and requires different viewpoints
• Both sides have important concerns

Be cautious:

It takes time and effort—don’t use it for minor disagreements.

3. Compromising – “Let’s meet in the middle”

You find a solution that partially satisfies both parties. It’s practical, but not ideal for deeply rooted issues.

Use this style when:

• You need a quick, fair resolution
• You’re at a negotiation standstill
• The issue isn’t worth a drawn-out debate

Be cautious:

Frequent compromise may leave everyone slightly dissatisfied.

4. Avoiding – “Let’s not talk about it”

You sidestep the conflict entirely, either by withdrawing or deflecting.

Use this style when:

• The issue is minor or temporary
• Emotions are too high for a productive discussion
• You need more time or information

Be cautious:

Unresolved issues can grow into larger problems.

5. Accommodating – “Whatever you think is best”

You prioritise the other person’s needs over your own. It can show empathy but risks enabling poor behaviour.

Use this style when:

• The issue matters more to the other person
• You were wrong and want to make amends
• Preserving harmony is more important than being right

Be cautious:

Consistently accommodating can make you appear weak or passive.

How to Choose the Right Style

Ask yourself:

• How important is this issue to me?
• How important is this issue to the other person?
• What’s the potential impact of conflict?
• Do we have time to resolve this collaboratively?
• What’s the relationship dynamic?

Here’s a quick decision guide:

Situation	Best Style
High stakes, urgent decision	Competing
Long-term relationship at risk	Collaborating
Temporary fix for a minor issue	Compromising
Low impact or high emotion	Avoiding
Maintaining goodwill or admitting fault	Accommodating

Adapting to Different Personalities

Knowing your own conflict style is one thing. But tailoring your approach to suit others is what sets great leaders apart.

Tips:

• With dominant personalities: match assertiveness, but stay open to collaboration.
• With passive colleagues: encourage openness using accommodating or collaborative tactics.
• With emotional individuals: start with avoiding or accommodating, then revisit when calm.

Real-Life Example

Scenario: Two team members are clashing over project ownership.

Poor approach: One manager uses only the competing style—ignores feedback, pushes a decision. Result: resentment and disengagement.

Better approach: Start with compromising to de-escalate. Then use collaborating to define clear roles and rebuild trust.

Outcome: Both team members feel heard and take ownership of their parts.

Why the TKI Model Works in Australian Workplaces

Australian workplaces often value fairness, inclusivity, and open communication. The TKI model supports these values by offering:

• A balanced view of conflict
• Strategies that fit different work cultures
• A way to reduce stress and improve teamwork

Leaders who apply the model create more respectful and productive environments.

Conclusion

Conflict is natural—but mismanaging it isn’t. The Thomas-Kilmann model gives you the tools to face conflict with clarity and control.

Want to grow your leadership toolkit even more?

Enrol in a leadership or workplace training program at National Training. Learn how to apply models like TKI in real-world scenarios and lead with confidence.

FAQs

1. What is the most effective conflict style?

There’s no single “most effective” conflict style, because the best choice depends on the situation, the people involved, and the desired outcome. Collaborating is often seen as ideal because it aims for a win-win solution that fully satisfies all parties, but it requires time, trust, and open communication. In fast-paced environments or when protecting clear priorities, competing may be more suitable. Effective conflict management comes from understanding all five styles and knowing when to apply each one thoughtfully.

2. How can I find out my conflict style?

The easiest way to identify your primary conflict style is by taking the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), which is available online through licensed providers. It’s a self-assessment tool that evaluates how you typically respond to conflict and helps you understand your tendencies under pressure. Knowing your default style gives you greater self-awareness, allowing you to adapt your approach depending on the situation and the personalities you’re dealing with at work.

3. Can I use more than one conflict style?

Yes, and in fact, the most effective communicators and leaders do. While everyone has a default conflict style, learning to shift between styles based on context is a valuable skill. For example, you might use compromising to quickly resolve a minor dispute, then switch to collaborating when dealing with a complex, high-stakes issue. Being flexible means you’re not stuck in one mode, and you can respond more appropriately to the people and pressures around you.

4. Is avoiding conflict always bad?

Avoiding conflict gets a bad reputation, but it’s not inherently wrong. It can be the right choice when emotions are running high, when the issue is minor, or when more information is needed before making a decision. The key is to avoid avoidance as a habit—if you consistently ignore problems, they tend to grow worse. Strategic avoidance can buy time, reduce tension, and allow for a more thoughtful resolution later, especially in emotionally charged situations.

5. How can I introduce this model to my team?

Introducing the Thomas-Kilmann model to your team can start with a simple discussion or training session. Share the five styles and invite your team to reflect on which ones they use most. Consider doing a team-based TKI assessment if resources allow, followed by a group workshop to explore each style in action. Using real workplace examples and encouraging open dialogue can help team members understand themselves and others better, reducing conflict and improving collaboration.